Thoughts of a Kiwi in Minneapolis - on Minnesota

A few surprising things have come out of Minnesota in their time, including of course our favourite movie-making brothers the Coens. Here's a "who would have guessed?" list for your entertainment:

1. Bob Dylan
2. Terry Gilliam
3. Prince
4. Kevin Sorbo (Hercules to you)
5. F. Scott Fitzgerald
6. Judy Garland (speaking of irony, Toto)
7. Charles Lindbergh
8. Peter Graves, the guy from Mission Impossible
9. Peter Krause, the guy on 6 Feet Under who plays Nate
10. The man who invented the Pop-up toaster, whose name has slipped my mind

So what is day to day life like in the only US State where Mother Nature actually has a serious attempt to kill you twice a year?

Shopping in MN is now reduced to dragging ourselves to one of the nearby cookie-cutter Malls and getting things as quickly as possible. Grocery shopping is amazing - in one supermarket we don't even enter S of the 11 aisles. Eight whole aisles of crap that we don't eat or consume 1 item from, or even feel the need to look at any more - 45 varieties of cheese balls, Cola, beef jerky and jello. Woo hoo.

Minneapolis is a series of cookie cutter settlements, each centered on such a cookie cutter Mall. The Mall contains a supermarket, a Kinkos, a Starbucks, the Gap, Home Depot, a Walgreens drug store, and 9 or 10 other franchised stores that are repeated in each location. Variety is supplied by an occasional Barnes and Noble or Petsmart, which can't afford to be in every location.

The American small business dream is quite different to the rest of the world, where a person would be happy to create a successful cafe, bakery, retail store or boutique in a good location, then generate a great customer base and enough money to not have to work every Saturday.

In the USA, if you came up with that lucky combination of product, service and style your first thought would be "franchise". How can I repeat this exact recipe across the entire nation and thereby bleed it dry of the very essence that made it a desirable place to go and spend time and money in the first place?

Lesley concludes that it is all part of the dumbing down of a nation of people who might otherwise be tempted to vote Democratic at the next presidential election. The American populace cannot decode the complex signals that we receive as seasoned shoppers in high streets and small towns where under 'normal' circumstances no two shops are the same or offer the same merchandise. How do you know if this is good? How do you know where the khaki slacks are? How do you know if there is a pickle on the Burger? Its all far too messy to have to go in, explore and find out for yourself. You need a sign, a symbol - be it a big M, a big GAP, or a big Starbuck.

So sadly, franchises thrive in a nation where sameness and familiarity are craved. Inevitably the recipe that created the first success is never repeated by a franchisee no matter how closely they follow the franchisee manual or attend uplifting weekend seminars on making your franchise a success.

I am convinced franchisification is one of the first signs of the decline of civilization as we know it. Americans must have a truly awful time in Rome, London and Paris looking for the Malls. I fear the day someone decides to re-name San Francisco 'San Franchisco' - I wonder what a Franchiscan monk would look like? They could easily maintain a vow of silence as they cruise by the Mall in their Buick looking for a sign from God.

We have finally tracked down a gourmet luxury that we heard of a few months ago. Its horrendously expensive and only sold at the most mother-earth of co-operative type markets, packaged in a re-useable glass container that you return to the store for $1.50 credit. What is it? Grass fed cow's milk. Pure, unadulterated, unhomogenised, cream-floats-to-the-top bliss.

What will they think of next?